The Joyride Blog
Weird Wide Web - Captain Beany─── 15:06 Wed, 27 Oct 2021
A baked bean fanatic has adapted every aspect of his life to centre around his 'passion' and has even forked out over £10,000 on bean-themed merch.
Mr Beany himself - formerly known as Barry Kirk - renovated his bathroom and kitchen some years ago. Instead of going for neutral tones with a splash of colour here and there, the 67-year-old painted every wall orange. On top of that he stuck bean stickers all over the gaff, bought some orange flannels and towels before creating pyramids using tins of baked beans. His renovation, as well as all the other merchandise he's splashed out on over the years means that Captain Beany estimates an expenditure at around £10,000. The Captain - who claims to eat baked beans around four times a week - changed his name by deed poll back in May 1991 and he's become something of a local celebrity in his town of Port Talbot ever since.
Speaking affectionately about the creation of this 'character', Captain Beany told LADbible: "I have created this persona to engage with the local community at large with some wacky stunts to generate re-sauces [he just doesn't stop] for all manner of charitable causes whatever large or small." He went on to add: "I have always felt that I was physically and mentally destined to make a valid existence to my wellbeing, and loved performing in school plays and 'dressing up' to be in character. "I feel empowered when I am in superhero mode and conducting my own performance to make families happy and so 'full of beans'."
Captain Beany doesn't shy away from the inevitable either and has spoken about the extravagant plans he has put in place for when he reaches his 'sell by date'. He explained: "I'm not planning to escape Earth just yet, but I have made provisions by having my own personal 'space capsule' made. "I would love to have a rich billionaire such as Elon Musk of SpaceX to bean me on board his spacecraft and launch me into outer space.
"Perhaps one day in the near future, aliens shall commandeer my 'space capsule' and resurrect me on a far off distant planet, preferably Planet Beanus." Well if anyone's going there, I think we can all agree it'll be Captain Beany. His coffin, emblazoned with 'R.I.B [rest in beans, apparently] Captain Beany'. Read more about him on his website here and watch his short documentary below.
Weird Wide Web - Captain Beany: