Tonight, I want to share with you how I deal with my emotions.
I have 97% hearing loss but for the last 6 years I’ve had cochlear implants, which has brought my hearing up to 80%.
Growing up, I had a lot of challenges being in a hearing school and not always understanding what was going on. I struggled with depression in high school.
At the age of 15 I started writing, and for me it was a way to work through the emotions and turmoil that was going on inside of me.
The thing is, we all have to find a healthy way of letting out all the stuff – good and bad. We should find a healthy way to express it, a way that doesn’t hurt ourselves or other people.
So as I started writing, I wrote a lot of dark stuff, depressing things because that was what I was experiencing at that stage of my life. It was good for me, it was therapy and really helped me.
I made a bit of a mistake of showing my writing to my parents, because after reading it, they were very worried about me.
I got such a fright that I stopped writing about the negative things.
Instead I just started writing about positive things, the good stuff, how life always has a happy ending.
Then a strange thing started happening: I couldn’t really feel emotions anymore. As I started blocking out the bad stuff, I automatically also started blocking out the good things about my life. Eventually I couldn’t really feel emotions anymore. I was just numb inside. That is not a healthy place to be at all.
After I got my cochlear implants, I became brave regarding my life. I started to really look at my life. I would look at the bad stuff, the good stuff, the stuff in-between, and then I would look again.
I am now looking at my life with both my eyes. I am not looking away. I chose not to live in denial anymore. I am now starting to experience emotions again and it is so good to feel so alive.
I want to encourage you: If you also like writing, start as soon as you can.
Write about everything – the good and the bad. You don’t have to show it to anybody. It is just for you and your emotional well-being. It is a fantastic way to work through stuff and grow as a person.
Don’t block out your life; experience it and find healthy ways to work through it.
Vicki Fourie defines her life by the quote 'Courage isn't a gift, it's a decision.' Even though she has 97% hearing loss, she learnt from an early age how to speak like a hearing person and she excels in lip-reading as means of communication. Vicki is a former Miss Deaf South Africa 2009, as well as Miss Deaf International 2010 1st Princess. Currently, she's a motivational speaker.
Find out how to book her for your event at: http://vickifourie.com/