At times, our immediate family is not readily available, hence it is for this reason we have people we call FRIENDS. Some of them turn out to be more than friends while others become a pain in our lives. Sometimes you will find yourself living as an island, in the presence of so-called friends.

I can't begin to imagine what Sipho Gumede had in mind when he composed his timeless song titled: "When days are dark, friends are few". But through the harmonic and rhythmic sounds of this tune, I can certainly feel how lost his soul was, wandering in wilderness... with unanswered questions, wondering how it is possible for one to feel so alone and empty when there are so many people out there in the world who claim to be his friends; wondering how he's going through tough times alone... with no shoulder to lean on; yet people wake up every morning and tell him: "I'll always be here for you, my friend". But when shove came to the push he found himself standing all alone in the midst of a hopeless situation. I can certainly imagine how much the famous song by Bill Withers, "Lean on me", certainly broke his heart as he heard these words: "Sometimes in our lives; we all have pain; we all have sorrow; but if we are wise; we know that there's always tomorrow; lean on me, when you're not strong; and I'll be your friend; I'll help you carry on; for it won't be long; 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on"... knowing that his days were dark and friends to lean on were few.

So, many people will promise you the world and all the goodness in it; how they will always be there for you through thick and thin but when the sh*t hits the fan and they have to be there for you; they hide under the bed like a scared dog running away from the sound of a firearm.

Let's face it - everyone and anyone can be there for you when everything is going well for you and you have just about anything and everything but only the loyal ones will still remain and be there for you even when you absolutely have nothing to your name. The tough times I have endured in life has taught me that we have three kinds of friends: the PARASITES; SWIMMERS; and SCUBA DIVERS.

PARASITE FRIENDS

These are the kinds of friends who are present in your life only because of a certain benefit they're deriving from you. Their loyalty is dependent on the existence/presence of that which attracted them into your life and once that cease to exist; they too cease to exist in your life. They're just there to suck something out of you just like a parasite does. This kind of friend is exactly like someone who goes to the pool party just to put their feet in the pool... that's exactly their extent of commitment and loyalty to you. They are not fully committed to the friendship, hence they just float their feet instead of taking a dive into the pool and fully commit to the friendship. But tell you what; you need this kind of friends so that you can learn and realise exactly what you need or don't need from a friend. So thank and appreciate them for great lessons they teach and taught you.

SWIMMER FRIENDS

These are the kinds of friends whose loyalty and commitment goes to a certain extent. When tough times hit you; they don't merely disappear but rather distance themselves instead of trudging with you. They are good at always making excuses every time they have to come through for you and will always justify why they couldn't be there for you and why you should forgive them. At the pool party; this is the kind of friend who only swims in the shallow side of the pool. They are usually scared of taking risks; of doing anything necessary to help their friend out. They're the kind that will tell you: "I'm here for you, my friend, but I can't do this and that for you, though". But you also need this kind of friends as they're there to remind you that at the end of the day, it's the people we least expect it from who disappoints us the most. That when the going gets tough, at times you have learned to face the world and life alone without anyone backing or cheering you along to move forward.

SCUBA DIVER FRIENDS

Now, these are the sincerest of them all. These are real friends who will risk anything just to see you happy again. They're the kind that backs up their words with a positive action. When they give; they give wholeheartedly. When they commit, they're in it because they appreciate you for what and who you are and not for what you have. They adore you for the role you play in their life. At the pool party, these are the people who take a dive in the deep side of the pool. They are not scared to drop everything and anything for you at any time of the day when you reach out to them for help. Unfortunately, this kind of friend is rare and endangered like rhinos. So, if you have them, appreciate and embrace them as nowadays it's hard to find and have true friends.

Now I ask: What kind of friends do you have and what kind of a friend are you to others?

The CHOICE is yours.

Happy CHOOSEDAY.