We saw ourselves as successful men and women. Married to partners of our own stature, driving expensive cars, staying in a beautiful mansion and living the lavish lifestyle; designer handbags, hand-stitched Italian leather shoes. The list is endless. 

The future projection of our lives in our minds was so vivid that we even knew exactly at what age everything was supposed to happen. At the age of 18 you matriculate, graduate at the age of 22, get engaged by 24, get married by 25 and have our first child at the age of 26... 

That's the formula we had in mind for a joy-filled life we had envisioned for ourselves.

To give life to the above formula, when we were in primary school, we couldn't wait to get to intermediate school. When we got to intermediate school we couldn't wait to see ourselves wearing the matric uniform with our names on it, knowing that our school days were soon over and that we were getting a step closer to our formula working. 

Before we knew it, we finished matric and a few months into tertiary we just couldn't wait to graduate so that we can start working so we that we can buy those fancy cars and houses and eventually find those compatible partners... Fast forward to 20 years later. Have things worked out quite as you predicted?

You see... If life really had a formula we could all be graduates now, driving expensive cars, owning mansions at reputable estates and living the lavish lifestyle. But that's not the case. If life indeed had or has a formula we could all have answers and solutions to all our lives’ questions and problems but we don't have them. 

If there is indeed a formula for life out there, then a parent would never ever have to experience and bear the worst pain in life - the pain of a child predeceasing their parents... the pain of a parent giving birth to a life and having to bury that very same life.

If indeed such a thing as life's formula exists; then we could have easily followed it to prevent ourselves from failing, falling, being disappointed, getting betrayed and getting our hearts broken. Couples break up every day, work relationships gets terminated on a daily basis, families have strangers, friends are now enemies. 

Surely if there was a formula we couldn't be experiencing all of these heartbreaking sights. What about death? Couldn't we simply use our life's formula to easily accept the sad passing of our loved one and instantly get over it? Certainly, we all could! 

But sadly life has no formula. For it is a matter of what we make it out to be! It's a matter of how we take everything that happens in it. Life has its own ups and downs; turns and twists; brighter and dark days. We can never prepare ourselves for anything and everything in it because anything can happen anytime... When we least expect it.

Thinking that life has a formula is like trying to control the direction of the wind because you want to sail into a certain direction; it's impossible. 

I am not in anyway implying that people shouldn't have visions for their own lives, what they want, when and how; however, they must not be hard on themselves about what they want and when they want it. Be realistic. Life is unpredictable. 

You can never precisely predict what is going to happen in the future; whether your crush will love you back, whether you will get funding, a job... whether you will be the best parent ever and have your children turn out just the way you want them to. Don't self-inflict stress, pain, and misery into your own life by always wanting to have things your own way. You have to wake up every morning and take life as it comes and goes. 

Do your level best to go for what you want; to get what you want and live the life you desire. Look at your own life, run your own race at your own pace. Never ever compare yourself to someone else because what worked for them might not work for you; you have your own unique life story... a story which you are the author of and the main character in. And remember that; in life you will not always get what you want and wish for but you will always get what life has in store for you.

Take the bad things that happen in life with the good things that you are grateful for. Smile not because something good happened; but because you know that through your beautiful smile... something good will happen. Realize that everything in life happens for a reason; that nothing ever happens to you but that everything happens THROUGH you so that it can sharpen you to be a better, stronger and wiser person.

Because life has no formula; don't beat yourself up. Look, it's OK not to have all the answers to all the questions you have about your life and life at large; it's OK to cry if you feel like crying because you don't have solutions to your troubles and challenges and feel like you don't have the strength or courage to "be strong anymore," it's okay not to have everything and anything figured out in life... after all, we are all trying to find our way around this mysterious puzzle called life. 

Whatever you do in life and whatever happens; don't ever dare give into an undesirable situation. Rise up! Fight your way back into the light! And happily live life to the fullest!

Today being a CHOOSEDAY, I double dare you to make a CHOICE not to ever be fooled.

Happy CHOOSEDAY

#NoAlarmClockNeededMyChoiceWakesMeUp

Fannie Zim is a practicing and Admitted Attorney of the High Court of South Africa.